You are not logged in.

Dear visitor, welcome to Beyond Orange. If this is your first visit here, please read the Help. It explains in detail how this page works. To use all features of this page, you should consider registering. Please use the registration form, to register here or read more information about the registration process. If you are already registered, please login here.


New User

  • "SriRoman" started this thread

Posts: 1

Reputation modifier: 1

Level: 12 [?]

Experience: 2,157

Next Level: 2,912

  • Send private message


Wednesday, January 4th 2012, 11:20am

Positions Vacant

Um Ho Hum Unethical Jobs - Positions Vacant
Position: Cult Leader
Employer: Didl Cult Fallovership
Work Type: Full Time
Sector: Yoga Cults
Location: Worldwide (except Nepal and Maritius)

Applications close: Gurupurnima, 2012.

Didl is an international yoga cult with an infamous reputation for misuse and abuse of
people’s good will, time and money. This cult brings together like-minded
people who wish to be led blindly in a totalitarian style of leadership. If you
are a control-freak dictator looking to be adored and worshipped by a totally
compliant following of disciples then read on!

About the Position
Didl is looking for a new cult leader to replace the ex-cult leader who is currently in
self-imposed exile in Nepal and Maritius. The Cult Leader plays a vital role in
orchestrating the systematic misuse of all cult disciples. You will be required
to groom vulnerable and well-intentioned people for your unethical conduct and
relentlessly milk funds from your loyal following. This role offers world-wide
first class travel, staying in five star accommodation at the expense of

In this position you will report daily to a few very strong women who officially are
under your power, but you will never feel quite certain who is under whose

Key Responsibilities
  • Advocating moral and ethical codes of conduct when in public
  • Providing confusing and convoluted lectures that weave up to ten
    traditional spiritual stories together whilst barely making any point
  • Publically humiliating people who work in close proximity and
    concealing this as spiritual training
  • Inspiring others to work exceptionally hard for your personal gain and
    concealing this as purification of their karma
  • Privately requesting various ‘favors’ of people in return for
    attention and promises of spiritual advancement
  • Ensuring people laugh enough, sing enough and love you enough to overlook
    and forgive all of the above
Essential skills / attributes
We are looking for someone who has a complete disregard for the long-term
sustainability and viability of the Didl Fallovership. Our ideal candidate is:
  • Deeply committed to our mission of developing a totalitarian
    organisation where nobody in a position of responsibility may be held
    accountable at any time
  • Highly capable of feigning spiritual clarity, love, peace and
    harmony when in public environments
  • Talented at targeting people with wealth to donate considerable
    sums to pointless endeavours such as ‘World Piece of You Forays’ attended
    by the Didl rent-a-crowd
  • An experienced manipulator with a demonstrated ability to identify,
    engage with and manipulate emotionally vulnerable people
  • Self-serving in motivation with a total lack of capacity to respect
    the emotional and mental health of others
  • Inflexible, hypercritical, interfering and demeaning of the work
    and lives of others when not in view of the public
  • Capable of creating chaos and division in any productive and co-operative

Desirable attributes

The following attributes, whilst not absolutely essential will give you a distinct
advantage in this role:
  • Superficial knowledge of yoga principles and classical yoga philosophy (training in this area can easily be provided for the right candidate)
  • Psychopathic tendencies
  • Ability to deny the truth when it may compromise your personal reputation
    and/or wealth
  • Ability to embarrass yourself in public and let others receive the
    blame and manage the damage
  • Love of orange clothing and fetish for tiger print underwear

Didl Cult Fallovership will provide you with:
  • Luxurious accommodation in all locations
  • Highly competitive remuneration if you demonstrate exceptional capacity
    to cash in on wealthy widows
  • Possibility of long-term contract after a one year trial period
    (dependent on the ex-cult leader maintaining the traditional 14 year period in
    self-imposed exile).

For further information contact:

Whatwillyagivehim Devi
Senior Groomer & Manipulator
Didl Cult Fallovership
+69 109 109 (office)

How to apply for this job:
To apply for this role, please forward your resume, photo in suitable tiger skin apparel
and a cover letter addressing the above selection criteria.

Didl is an Unequal Opportunity Employer. Unqualified persons are encouraged to
apply if their religious affiliation, race, age, sex and sexual orientation is
completely compliant with all existing cult prejudices.

This post has been edited 4 times, last edit by "SriRoman" (Jan 4th 2012, 11:37am)


Bronze Member


Posts: 63

Reputation modifier: 4

Level: 27 [?]

Experience: 136,653

Next Level: 157,092

  • Send private message


Thursday, January 5th 2012, 11:22am

well, this job really looks fine:))), let me overthink for a second:))), well, my answer is: NO!:), happy hunting:)))

This 'enumerated' list of qualities show that the writer of this nicely written work-we-search-for-the boss-appendage is well versed and knowledgeable about the company's structure, it's inner workings:), now, to all of those who remain/ed on the distance and only saw the shiny surface, this sequence is abominable; can this really be true? Was or is our boss like that? Can this be true? What about peace and love? Can really someone who talks and spreads the messages of peace and love be like that? Are all saints now questionable, and if they are, where do we begin to question? Was Jesus really "the son of God" and what does it mean and even if he was, to whom this makes any sense and what does it change in our lives? WTF is the point, da real sh--t, core-of-it, if there is any core at all?

Is it possible that the enlightened men (or woman, if there is one:) were as much unenlightened as much as they are/were enlightened; what does it mean to be enlightened, wtf does it (really) mean? Maybe it only "means", and that is "to be enlightened", we said it and now it is the 'truth'; can the "son of god" be devoid of position and power? isn't the title "the son of God" a position and power?, over whom?, to whom does it serve the purpose? why do we need to know?, what does it mean to be "the son of god"?, is the divine kingdom the reign of supreme power over its servants/'inhabitants; every loka has its kingdom and the king, and its citizens/servants?; citizen: what is a citizen? how one becomes a citizen?

rules of conduct/morality...: it is already devoid of corporeality, it is the word/the law; it makes its incision into the 'flesh' of the world (word that cuts into flesh; in the beginning there was word and word was with god...; the word became our servant and master); it becomes the guiding truth; moral standards do not grow on trees; moral standards are the product of reflection, reflections of the speaking animal; it all became and emerged from the primordial Aum; is the cosmos one big speaking/murmuring animal?:) what is an animal and what is a human, and what is god? who is questioning this? where is the truth? is god the truth and even if it is, what than? Shall we serve the truth? Can the truth be ever served? If we serve the truth, do we serve it directly or indirectly; can the truth be served/seen directly? Maybe in heaven...How to serve the truth and why and what does it mean to serve the truth? To serve the representative/fetish of truth/god? Who is the representative of truth? (if we pressupose this question has any meaning; at least it minimally means "that it means (something)"; maybe it only means that it means and nothing beside the meaning that it only means;)
How can we know that this guy or a gal is the right representative, or just representative and who appointed him/her; god? and why?, can we know? should we know? why do we have to know? what is the purpose if there is any purpose? to spread the words of peace and love? what is peace and what is love? Isn't the peace and love only the thing which is said about the peace and love? where is it?, is it an apple?

Peace and love, we can not find them, cannot eat them, cannot devour them, but we can speak about them, we can give definitions, stories and it becomes magickal, it becomes render speech is bliss, speech, the voice as the grand master, the voice, from where it comes? who is the one that speaks to us? what is this voice, why does it command?, wants us to obey; face+voice, both become hypnotic, they become fetish-like, they can arouse many imaginations, many narcissistic feelings through identification; we are amazed by the appearance, the face of the wo/man, it resembles our own face, and it strikes us back as the face of the other is the version of our narcissistic identification with our own face, we meet with the version of our face, our identification, our love; we love through the other; and if he is "the son of god", the love is triply multiplied, it becomes a trip, ego-trip to the core of the ego which is god?:) from ego to god; saints would say: no ego=god; ego=not-god, and now we can embark on the voyage of the ego-killing-spirtual-suprasystem with all its established and written word of various "words of god" through the scriptures which can be rendered only through the right representatives of god, the blessed and sanctioned by god to speak in his own name; they speak in god's name, where is god than? why do we have to listen anyone who speaks in somebody's name? why the borrowed words? don't we in a sense borrow words all the time? yet we give much more importance to the 'godly' borrowed words? why do we get the postman to deliver us the message, where is the real sender, if there is one?, is the mailman the hidden and disguised god? (well, this is also the version of the spiritual system; we are all gods right?)

I think that every boss of the company should know something about this questions, but I think that boss doesn't bother with the 'lower' citizens, and even for god you have to be/come either higher of the highest or the lower of the lowest::)))...great is the mystery, great are the representatives of truth, great like the multifaceted apples growing in the sky out of thin air...

Similar threads